A sampling of the letters I write to inanimate objects, things, and ideas.
11-18-09 10:42 a.m.
Dear Coffee,
I know we’ve had our ups and downs and we haven’t been together seriously for a few years. But, now that I have you back in my life I want you to know – You complete me.
Love,
Me
12-2-09 8:43 a.m.
Dear neighbor who has been letting their house alarm go off all morning,
A. You alarm company sucks and hasn’t responded to the alarm going off 3 times for 20 minutes at a time. B. Your neighbors in your building don’t give a crap about you because they haven’t called the cops or the landlord. C. Learn how to use your alarm!!!
With Love,
Me
1-18-10 12:56 a.m.
Dear Hot Water Music,
I’m so glad we have found each other again. I love the way you feel as I unabashedly belt out your lyrics at the top of my lungs when I’m in my car and think that no one is looking. I love the way you seem to creep back into my life at the most perfect and appropriate times because sometimes I do feel that “an empty fate just means an even score.”
Just can’t seem to get away,
Me
